I have seen this taboo out on the porn sites many times. When I first saw it, the topic seemed absurd.

Over time I listened to females and found that many women have fantasies about a "gangbang" where they are the only female surrounded by many attractive men.
While that doesn't fit the description of a cuckhold, it did start me down the mental path of rationalizing letting my woman be used by other men.

My initial hesitations are on STD's when this thought comes up. I don't think I am alone in this, but as a man, the protection factor comes in. Also the fear of the other guy getting out of control during sex, starts some worry. But it is possible to search and find suitable men for such a situation.

The last part is feeling confidence in myself about situation that any remaining fears are not warranted. This includes jealousy, loss of control, fear of events after the cuckhold scenario, etc.
This doesn't seem as hard as it might. Getting an agreement with my woman that this is not to continue outside of my knowledge will help in many ways.

The mental state to me, that would work during a cuckhold, is seeing my woman be craved and desired by other men. I don't think this is a hard feeling to achieve. It comes pretty naturally.
Seeing my woman helpless with another man, can be a way of simulation of an non-typical event. For example of the perception of having one's own professional porn star. Seeing her being taken can simulate this.

Another part of cuckhold is the male(me) giving up dominance over my woman (wife). This is a little harder for me, as I am still not feeling being submissive is my preference, but I can understand another persons desire to play both submissive and dominant roles and change them.

This is an experience that sounds like it needs more input from females, and those who have experienced it.

My experience is that my way with my wife is completely different than most people think and has nothing to do with cuckold / wife sharing porn. Others would see it that way with us.

For us, this has nothing to do with being submissive and dominating.

It evolved more like that.
For me sex was and is a natural thing, like eating, drinking and sleeping. It's just part of life.

Also, I've never understood a cunt as a piece of soap.

When my wife has sex with another man, it pleases me to see how happy, relaxed and horny her face looks. I can't enjoy it that much when I fuck her.

Whether she lets a guy fuck her or whether she goes to sports with a friend doesn't bother me at all. On the contrary, when she's getting ready and the time before that, she's always so happy and horny. I like that. Of course she also does it for herself, feels desired and allows herself to be seduced. It's not just about getting in and out.

I'm not afraid she's leaving me. I still have the feeling that she enjoys being with me and is happy to see me when she comes home.

I don't think the porn variants reflect reality, at least in my relationship. Unfortunately, there are so few free relationships that compare to the porn industry.

Thank you for the real experience insight.

I have been married twice and never attempted to let my wife have sex with other men. I don't think it was because I was against it, I think it was just that the women I have been married to, never were interested in that.

I understand some of what you describe as feelings about the events. It seems to take trust and also an inner feeling of security about your relationship with your wife.

Do you feel this type of relationship with your wife allows you to have a different view about sexual nature of human's than you would if your wife did not have sex with other men?